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Content Warnings: mentions of child abuse and domestic violence
Music blasted in Imani’s ears as she shuffled her rucksack from room to room, throwing in items she would need for her three-day camping trip in Deerhead National Park. She and her boyfriend Shawn had saved up all summer to pay for the expensive camping equipment, and she couldn’t count the hours they’d spent together pouring over trail maps and guides. Now the trip was here, and she was over the moon. The music in her earbuds lowered when her phone chimed with a familiar message:
::Text message from Shawn-Bear::
Imani tossed her wool socks on the bed and walked to her dresser, plucking her phone from its holder. She unlocked it with her thumb and smiled.
Shawn-Bear: Just finished class. Pizza @3p sound good to you?
Imani: Of course, meet you at J-Dining. And you better be done your packing.
Shawn-Bear: Don’t worry, I got it babe. ttyl
Imani smiled as the music in her ear started up again. This was going to be an awesome trip. She couldn’t wait to hit the road.
She picked up her camera from her dresser and unplugged it from the charger as her door unlocked and opened. Imani turned around and smiled at her roommate Jess, who nodded as she tossed her bag on her bed before she walked over to the mini fridge and grabbed an energy drink.
“You excited about Deerhead?” Jess asked.
“Girl, yes!” Imani turned around. “I feel like this is the most I’ve ever planned for anything. I mean, Shawn and I had to book a spot for one of the campgrounds all the way back in June.”
“Damn.” Jess took a swig of her drink. “Well, I hope y’all enjoy yourself. I know I’m going to be enjoying my weekend safe and sound watching Halloween movies.”
“Right, as if you and Kayla are just going to be watching movies,” Imani teased with a kissy face.
Jess laughed. “It’s a low-risk activity, compared to yours. I mean you won’t catch my Filipino ass out in the woods. You know how many people go missing out there?”
Imani laughed again. “People go missing everywhere, and we’re going during one of the busiest seasons.”
“Right. You just stay away from Lake Howard. I did my environmental journalism project on that place. Folks go missing there every year.”
“Girl, I ain’t going swimming in the middle of October,” Imani said as she folded a pair of navy blue leggings. “I may love nature, but I ain’t like them.” Imani held up her palm.
Jess laughed as Imani went back to folding and rolling up her clothes. She wasn’t worried about getting lost. The park would be packed with people coming to see the autumn leaves. She was actually surprised they were able to get a spot at one of the more popular campgrounds. She was so pumped. This would be their first big trip as a couple and her first time camping. She couldn’t wait to hit the trails and spend the night with her boyfriend under the stars.
Shawn hit the red button on his phone, ending another nagging phone call from his mom. He had to call her because he was borrowing her car for the weekend, but he hated it when she tried to put on the caring mom act. She and Dad had parked the car in the K-Lot so he could take it after dinner, and he was glad he didn’t have to see them for the exchange. Mom had given him an extra set of keys, at least, and he was grateful for that.
His phone buzzed again. When Shawn looked at the preview, a jolt of shock shot up his spine. He didn’t want to read the message, so he swiped it away in frustration. Instead, he tapped the icon for his music app, but his phone glitched and a photo appeared of him and his dad from a hunting trip they took when he was a kid with the caption:
We used to go camping all the time. What ever happened to that?
Shawn deleted the message, wishing he could block the number. His arms itched thinking about it, but he didn’t want to focus on that now. Not with this weekend coming up. Fuck his dad; this weekend was about him and Imani.
Shawn put in his headset, tapped the music app, and blasted his favorite metal band. He was all but packed except for a small first aid kit that should have arrived in the mailroom today. Shawn walked down the sidewalk, kicking up bright red, orange, and brown leaves on his way to his dorm. The weather was beautiful, and the chilly breeze all but washed away any negative thoughts lingering in his mind. He couldn’t wait to hike Bellow Hollow under the fall leaves and hopefully do a little bird watching, too.
Shawn jogged across the street between cars to reach his dorm. He caught the door as three girls walked out, and headed to the mailroom. The light flickered above the mailroom door, casting half the room in a fluttering shadow. Shawn eyed it as he crossed the threshold.
“Hey, Shawn, my boy.” Henry reached out his hand for a dap.
“Hey, man. How’s it going?” Shawn said as Henry turned and flung a thumb back to get his room number. “Oh, 516.”
Henry nodded with a smile. “It’s going good, man. Finally scored a date with Jemma and already that girl is freaky.”
Shawn laughed. “Already? Y’all haven’t even been on a date yet.”
Henry shrugged as he turned around and fetched Shawn’s package from the back. The light in the mailroom flickered off, and Shawn tensed.
“Don’t worry about that.” Henry pointed to the light. “Maintenance is supposedly coming Monday, but it’s October, so I call it a seasonal decoration.” Henry handed Shawn his package. “But yeah, what can I say? She’s a modern woman and she knows what she wants. So, I finna play. What about you, man? What you doing this weekend?”
“I’m going backpacking with Imani.”
“Nice! I did that a lot as a kid with my dad. He was a big hunter, had to bag the biggest buck, but you know how it is.”
“Yeah. I used to go hunting too, killed a few big ones myself.” Shawn itched at the lie.
“Nice! You have a good time out there,” Henry said.
“Thanks, will do.” Shawn waved to his friend under the dim light as he tried to ignore his shadow that followed him out.
With his package tucked under his arm, he approached the elevator. He watched his back, eyeing the lobby for anyone heading toward him when the door opened and startled him. Two boys walked out and gave Shawn a friendly nod as Shawn moved out of the way.
He could feel his arms itch as he took quick breaths and stepped into the elevator. Once the doors slid close, he rested his back on the wall. He hated hunting and felt like a jackass for lying about it. He scratched his arms, finally giving into the temptation, lining his tan skin with thick red marks.
He needed to focus on this trip. It meant everything to him. He would be miles away from his stupid dysfunctional family and shouldn’t even be worried about them.
The doors opened, and Shawn snapped back to reality. He headed for his dorm and pushed the key into the door, but the doorknob flew out of his hands, and a skinless blood-soaked head jumped in his face and screamed.
“You fucking idiot!”
His father’s voice roared in his head, and though every nerve in his body wanted to run, he was frozen in place. Stuck in the memory of his father repeatably barging into his room with nothing but malice and rage in his eyes.
“Dude? Shawn?” His roommate David pulled off the mask. “You okay?”
Shawn exhaled as he balled his fingers into a tight fist. “David…I will fucking end you if you ever do that again,” Shawn said through closed teeth in an effort to bite back the tremors rolling through his body.
“My bad, man,” David apologized. “I won’t do that again—promise.”
Shawn took several breaths. “It’s all good. It’s almost Halloween, and I should have expected that.”
David laughed a little. “Yeah, well, I’m not going to make it a habit, but I gotta go. Catch up with you later, though?”
“R-right.”
Before Shawn could get out the response, his roommate was already out the door. He didn’t want to admit how badly that rattled his nerves. He needed to relax so he wouldn’t burden his girlfriend with his anxiety. Just focus on this trip.
This was going to be the weekend of a lifetime. He might even get laid, but more importantly, it would just be the two of them. No school, no family, just them hiking under the autumn leaves.
Shawn leaned back in the driver’s seat of his 2015 Toyota hatchback. The music was turned all the way up. He smirked as he watched Imani belt out the lyrics to “Let Me Ride” by one of his favorite alternative rock bands. He loved the way her long curly black hair bounced around her face when she swayed to the music. The sun broke through the trees and danced on her face, making her face twinkle like a star. He couldn’t stop himself from smirking.
They chased the sun all the way to the campgrounds as they drove up the mountain. Imani slurped on her blue slushie and flashed him a pearly blue smile. Shawn laughed as he reached for his energy drink.
“You know your shit’s going to be green now,” Shawn joked.
“Maybe it’ll help it blend in better,” Imani laughed, “but seriously, I’m not pooping in the woods.”
“Come on, that’s like a rite of passage.”
Imani gave him a look. “And you’ve done it?”
“Yeah, everyone does it. That’s why we bought the trowel.” Shawn laughed at Imani’s skeptical expression. “And don’t say this is white people shit, ‘cause that’s how everyone did it back in the old days.”
“Ew.” Imani wrapped her blue-tinted lips around her orange straw, looking so cute that Shawn had trouble keeping his eyes on the road. “I can’t imagine a younger version of you rummaging through the woods alone, looking for a spot to shit. I don’t know how you survived.”
Shawn gripped the steering wheel. “It wasn’t that big of a deal. I mostly peed in the woods as a kid.”
“You went hunting most of the time, right? Or was it both hunting and camping?”
Shawn flinched at the memory. “Yeah, we did some hunting. Just me, my brother, and my dad shooting shit.”
Imani pulled her drink away from her mouth. “Eww, you actually killed something?”
“Y-yeah. Mostly deer. Shot a lot of big ones.” Shawn shrugged and cracked a smile, but Imani wasn’t buying it.
“You don’t even like to kill bugs.”
“W-well, I mean I shot at stuff.”
“So, you really killed a deer?”
Shawn looked into Imani’s eyes, a lie ready on his lips, but for some reason, it wouldn’t form into words. “N-no, I couldn’t. Honestly, I freaking hate hunting.”
Imani laughed, but her eyes remained soft. “I knew it. I never took you for the type that liked to kill for fun. You’re too—”
“Soft?” Shawn echoed a memory in his dad’s voice.
“What? Kind, Shawn. You’re too kind. You have a good heart.”
Imani’s lips curled into a smile, making Shawn want to lean over and kiss her. Kind would not be a word his father would use. Coward, weak, soft—those were the words that stuck to him like honey and drew in the bees that stung his self-confidence.
He gripped the steering wheel tighter to ignore the itching that crawled up his arms, neck, and chest. All the places a fist once touched, all the pain his muscles would never forget. Imani placed a hand on his leg, and his gaze moved from his leg to hers. She smiled before turning and looking out the window. Shawn melted. It was like she had tossed in a hook, fished out all the bad memories, and threw them out the window. He truly loved her.
The mountain road wound around the cliffside like tinsel around a Christmas tree. Shawn peeked up at the oak and birch trees, their bright fall colors in full bloom. Shawn smiled and leaned back in his seat as he reached out a hand to grab Imani’s.
They reached the park around five and pulled up behind an SUV with white oval runner’s stickers on the back, each with different mileage numbers. Shawn looked ahead; the line to get in didn’t look long and was moving fast.
“You got the passes?” Shawn asked.
“Yeah, I got us a reservation at Little Gnome for tonight.” Imani smiled and handed Shawn the pass right as he pulled up to the check-in booth.
“Evenin’,” a woman dressed in a brown park ranger uniform said, smiling at them.
“Hey, what’s up?” Shawn handed the woman their passes through the window.
“Y’all made it just in time to hear my little spiel. No campfires in the backcountry, lock up your food at night, and please don’t pet the wildlife.” The woman scanned their ticket and handed it back to them. “Little Gnome is two miles down the road. Veer left at the fork. There’s a lot of folks staying in the park this weekend, but there should be plenty of parking.”
“Thanks,” Shawn said as he stuffed the ticket in the drink holder.
Imani smiled and waved as Shawn drove them under the canopy of bright orange and red trees. Hikers walked in pairs on the side of the road as they passed gravel parking lots and signs pointing to campgrounds and RV parking. He reached the fork and switched his blinker on, then turned left. The woman at the front gate was right, parking was packed, but they landed a spot close to the road and didn’t make a fuss about it.
Imani jumped out and stretched, and Shawn followed. An hour and forty-minute drive was a long time to sit, but at least the drive up was beautiful. Shawn took a breath of the fresh mountain air heavy with the smell of dead leaves and Earth. This was one of his favorite parts. He was reveling in it when a door slammed behind him.
“You going to stand there all day?” Imani stood near the front of the car with her pack on her back and a big grin on her face.
Shawn smirked at how perfect she looked in her oversized, tan OCU hoodie and dark teal leggings. Shawn reached into the car for his pack and pulled, but the strap caught the seat buckle and wouldn’t let go. He tugged and tugged, trying to play it cool.
“Come on. I know you’ll miss me, but I won’t be gone long,” Shawn promised as he teased the strap loose. Sometimes this car had a mind of its own.
Shawn finally freed his pack, locked the car, and joined his girlfriend as they walked toward the campgrounds.
Gravel crunched beneath Imani’s brown and purple hiking boots as she walked up the path toward the campgrounds. The sun would be setting in an hour, and she didn’t want to waste a second of daylight if it meant she could spot migrating birds. Fall was one of the best times to bird watch because of all the species passing through on the way to their winter grounds.
Shawn walked next to her with a wide grin on his face. She loved the way his tiny freckles peppered his face under the short brown mess of hair that flowed freely in the wind. His smile made her smile bigger.
Groups walked beside them, and Imani was envious of their light packs. Her pack was heavier than she expected, and she hoped it wouldn’t slow her down. In the past, she’s packed lighter, but this was their first overnight trip, and she couldn’t resist the urge to be overprepared.
She looked up into the trees and spotted a red-tail hawk perched on a yellow poplar. She grabbed Shawn’s arm and pointed.
“Nice,” Shawn said as he followed Imani’s finger. “That’s a red-tail, right?”
“Yup,” Imani said with a smile.
“Pretty cool. Not as cool as you, though.” Shawn grinned, earning him a playful shove.
Shawn pushed back with a gentle lean, and Imani laughed. She didn’t care that eyes floated their way. They were having fun, and she would be damned if she’d let judgement ruin their weekend.
The Little Gnome campsite was an easy walk up a gravel trail, but when they arrived, they saw what the park ranger meant. The place was completely packed.
Each camping area was marked by a numbered post. Theirs was B027. Some nooks had places for RVs to park, but all of them had picnic tables and small fire pits. There was a small general store to buy firewood, ice, and snacks; there was even normal bathrooms and coin-operated showers. Imani marveled at it all as they continued towards the tent-only section.
Children ran by them as families set up their cooking equipment. A friendly dog ran up to Shawn, and he was nearly knocked over by the happy bundle of fluffy brown fur. The owner wasn’t far behind and apologized profusely, but Imani and Shawn didn’t mind, taking the opportunity to pet the adorable dog. Imani couldn’t believe how many people were out here, but it made the trip all the more exciting, and it was comforting to know someone would always be nearby in case they got lost.
This would be their five-star lodging for the night, but tomorrow, they would be staying deep in the woods with only a headlamp and trowel for late-night bathroom visits.
Shawn spotted their marker and said something she couldn’t hear at the same time she caught sight of a blond-haired boy around her age who looked strikingly similar to her ex. She followed his movements as he laughed and joked with his friends. She was so lost in her thoughts that she jumped when Shawn touched her arm.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Y-yeah. I thought I saw my ex,” Imani said.
Shawn scanned the campgrounds. “A bad ex?”
“Just a race-blind asshole who never defended me from his racist family.” Imani dropped her pack and started to help Shawn with the tent. She really didn’t want to talk about her ex, but at least she was certain that wasn’t him.
“Yikes. Well, I’m glad he didn’t scare you away from dating white dudes,” Shawn said as he pulled out the poles.
“No one can scare me away from anything, but just know if your family starts doing racist shit…” Imani warned.
“Don’t worry, I’d drop them faster than a bomb.” Shawn helped lay out the tent.
“Good, because I do not want to go through that again.” Imani shook her head. She could still remember clear as day the conversation she overheard between her ex’s dad and uncle. They joked about killing her on the night of her prom, and her ex brushed it off as nothing.
Shawn stopped and looked around as he stood next to the tent stakes. “You know, this area is actually kind of private.” He flashed a grin.
“Oh my gosh.” Imani burst into laughter. “Where is your mind right now?”
“I’m just saying,” Shawn said as he closed the gap between them and planted kisses on her cheek.
Imani wiggled in his embrace but did not pull away. “You need to focus on hitting those stakes.” She tossed the rubber mallet to him.
The night settled around them, lit only by their firepit. Imani rested her head on Shawn’s shoulder and he wrapped his arm around her. He was so warm, and she loved that about him. Tomorrow they would get started, and she would be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous. This was only going to be a weekend trip, but if this went well, maybe they could go on more.
Imani looked up at the clear night sky. Pitch black and covered in so many stars. She could get used to this.
She and Shawn stared up at the moon, which was a creamy eggshell white. It was so clear that she could see the craters.
“You see the bunny?” Imani asked.
“Bunny?” Shawn pulled her close.
“You know, the sideways bunny. Turn your head, and you can see the ears and the body.” Imani felt Shawn tilt his head.
“Oh yeah, I totally see it now,” Shawn said as he obeyed her and tilted his head.
Imani pushed him away. “Yeah, right.”
“What? I do.” Shawn reached for her hand and pulled it close to kiss her knuckles.
Imani sighed. She could always tell when he was lying—he made that trying too hard face—but she loved it. She looked past him at the bunny in the sky as he closed the gap between them. She had never seen it so perfectly clear until now. Or maybe she’d been too busy to notice.
Shawn kissed her cheek, then moved down her neck. Imani moved her neck to give Shawn more room to bury his face. She wanted so badly to feel more of him, so she stood and offered a playful hand. Shawn took it, and she helped him up as he pulled her into his arms. They stared into each other’s eyes as Imani’s smile widened into a giggle, and she wondered how things could have been more perfect than this moment.
The following morning, Imani and Shawn were up early to get started on their eight-mile hike on the Bellow Hollow trail. It was chilly, and Shawn worked on making tea on their backpack stove while Imani rolled up the tent. The sun rose in the east, still too low to warm the ground, but it looked beautiful behind the autumn-colored trees. Groups passed them of various sizes and age ranges. Some with cute dogs, while others had pairs of children in tow.
Imani watched a group of four kids pull out booklets, which reminded her to take out her bird-watching journal. She didn’t want to miss the chance to record what she saw since she brought her camera, which would make way better pictures than the preserved specimens in her vertebrate natural history lab. Shawn coughed, which drew Imani’s eyes towards him. She watched his face and warm brown eyes as he stared up at the morning sky. He rubbed his slightly red nose as a smile broke across his lips, and then he pointed up.
“Hey, is that a yellow warbler?” He watched the pretty yellow bird glide through the air and land on a yellow poplar.
Imani pulled out her camera and snapped a picture. “Nice catch. He’s definitely traveling south for the winter.”
“I’m getting better at this. I think I might ace that ornithology class.” He smirked.
“Maybe if you were spitting scientific names,” she teased.
“It’s scientific enough,” Shawn said as he pulled the kettle from the stove. “And besides, I’ve got a pretty good memory.”
“Yeah, for plants.”
“That still counts,” Shawn said as he placed the tea bags in their tumblers and poured the steaming hot liquid.
“You’re right.” Imani smiled as she wrapped her arms around his chest. Shawn leaned into the embrace before handing her a tumbler. She took the cup and hummed as she sipped the honey-sweetened black tea.
“Cereal bar?”
“Don’t mind if I do,” Imani said as she heard the sound of a gator rumbling behind her.
She turned and saw a green gator with the label ‘Park Service’ on the side stop by a cluster of trash cans. A park ranger hopped out and waved to them as he walked over to the cans. Imani was surprised to see a Black park ranger.
“Morning,” the man said with a smile.
“Good morning,” Imani said.
“We gotta keep a handle on these trash cans because we gotta whole lotta black bears in the park. So, make sure you’re locking up your food at night.”
“Yes, sir,” Imani said.
“Yeah, I read something about that,” Shawn added. “I’d love to see one in real life.”
“Dusk and dawn,” the ranger said, “but if you see one, don’t stray close. Let it leave on its own.”
Imani chuckled. “I’m not going near no bear; I don’t want to wind up as one of those missing people.”
“I know that’s right,” the ranger said, “but just between you and me, people always find a way to go missing around here. My people have been living in these mountains for a while, and my grandmother always use to say something wasn’t right about this park, especially with the animals.”
“How so?” Shawn asked, but the ranger shrugged.
“I haven’t noticed anything personally, and clearly my grandmother’s warnings didn’t work on me.” The ranger laughed and pointed to his badge. “But it’s almost Halloween, so I gotta have something fun to tell the guest. Y’all take it easy now.” He winked.
“You, too.” Imani waved. She wasn’t planning to get up close and personal with bears; her camera would take care of that for her.
“I guess we should be watching out for demon birds then,” Shawn joked, and Imani laughed with him as they wrapped up.
After breakfast, they started up the trail. The crowds followed, and with them, the chatter of dozens of hikers, but Imani didn’t mind. She reached out for Shawn’s hand as he pointed out different shrubs and bushes that had died back during the fall. She was impressed with his ability to tell them apart even if they all looked the same to her. She listened to him eagerly in between spotting various birds. The sun moved with them across the pale blue sky, and it got a tad bit warmer, so Imani peeled back her layers.
The chirps of a bird caught her ears, and she turned and looked down a path where she spotted a beautiful black and white eastern kingbird. She tugged on Shawn’s sleeve and quietly walked over to the tree it was perched on.
“What’s that?”
“An eastern kingbird. He’s probably gearing up to head down to South America,” Imani said as her eyes moved from the beautiful bird to the path that seemed to fork. “Is this still Bellow Hollow?”
“Let me check,” Shawn let down his pack and fished out the map. He unfolded it and showed it to Imani. “Yup. Well, that’s the north trail. It peels off towards Henry’s Alley and the Blue Line Skitter trail, but it’s a small loop. Wanna walk it?”
Imani looked ahead and thought she saw a few people. “Sure.”
Shawn smiled. “Cool. It looks less crowded, and I think there’s a nice cliff up ahead we can have lunch.”
“Awesome,” Imani said as Shawn put away the map.
He was right about the path. There were far fewer people, likely due to the fact that Henry’s Alley and the Blue Line Skitter trail were far longer than the ever-popular Bellow Hollow trail. She was sure in the spring and summer they were all packed, but with the weather dropping below the forties overnight in the fall, most hikers probably wouldn’t risk it.
Up ahead, Imani spotted a hiker taking pictures of the gorgeous fall leaves. Light filtered through the canopy, which made the leaves appear even more vibrant. The air was heavy with the scent of fallen leaves and the dirt that crunched beneath her feet.
The path winded upward, giving Imani a good leg workout. Her shoes pressed into the light gray gravel as she pushed herself. She enjoyed the fresh air that filled her lungs and rejuvenated her spirit. Shawn nudged her and pointed. Cliffs appeared as they walked around the path. It was so breathtaking that it was hard to keep track of time, but noon came, and with it, so did hunger.
She slowed and pulled her water from the hook on her pack and drank it as she walked.
“I think we’re coming up on the cliff I saw on the map,” Shawn said.
Imani nodded as he veered to the right towards a rocky path that sloped downward. Imani closed her water bottle as she peeked over the edge. It looked steep, but she saw a nice little stream below.
“It’s over there,” Shawn said, clearly ignoring the rock hopping they would have to do to get over there, but Imani didn’t complain. She didn’t mind a little detour. “Careful, it’s steep,” Shawn smirked.
“Mind your own feet. I got this,” Imani said as she leaned to the side to ease her foot down the slope.
“Okay.” Shawn shrugged. “But don’t say I didn’t warn—”
Shawn flailed backwards when his foot slipped, and Imani reached forward to catch him. She grabbed his arm, but she couldn’t hold his weight, and he jerked sideways, yanking her forward. They tumbled down the slope, nicking and scraping their hands in the process. Imani’s chest hit the dirt hard enough to bruise but not enough to knock her out. Laughter poured from her lips as she pushed her hands into the cool wet stream. She spread her fingers as she pushed herself up.
“See?” Imani continued to laugh as she watched Shawn adjust his backpack.
“Alright, alright.” Shawn turned his wrist around only to find beads of blood mixed with dirt. “Ouch.”
Imani peered closer. She, too. felt the familiar sting of a cut, but the pain was coming from her knee. She looked down and found spots of red bleeding through her light maroon leggings.
“You okay?” Shawn asked.
“I’m fine,” Imani said as she stretched and pulled her leggings up. It was just a minor cut. She chuckled at how dramatic the blood looked as it pooled into bigger beads.
“Let’s rinse off and bandage it. I’ve got a first aid kit,” Shawn said as he dipped his blood-crusted wrist into the stream.
Imani smiled and inched over to do the same, mixing her bloody knee with the water. There was a light sting and then cool relief as she flushed the wound with water. She watched the blood float downstream and dissipate amongst the ripples of fresh, clear water that rolled over smooth gray stones.
Her eyes floated upward towards the trees when she caught sight of a brown doe standing in the stream and looking back at her. She froze in amazement so she wouldn’t scare the deer away. It was so beautiful, its sandy brown fur glistening under the fractured light coming from the canopy. Imani reached back, fingering the dirt until her hands came upon her boyfriend.
“Huh?” she heard him say.
“Shh. Look,” Imani whispered.
The deer never took its eyes off Imani as the wind rustled the trees, making it rain bright yellow and orange leaves around them. Imani wished she could snap a picture, but right as the thought formed in her mind, the deer darted away.
“Wow,” Imani said. “I’ve never seen one up close like that.”
“Yeah, same.” Shawn smiled. “Oh, forgot to ask—did you wrap your feet? The cliff is three miles away.”
“I didn’t. Thanks,” Imani said as she took the moleskin wraps.
Imani wrapped her feet and then continued her hike hand in hand with her boyfriend. The detour proved to be quite lovely, and even better, there weren’t many people around. Shawn kissed and teased and grabbed Imani’s waist and ass as she skittered forward. Imani ran ahead as a small flock of blue tree swallows took to the sky. Shawn caught up and stole another kiss, and the pair carried on.
They walked around bends while Shawn pointed out every tree. Imani’s legs pushed her forward as the view up the mountain became more and more beautiful. She wished she could continue on forever, but her stomach ached for a little more than water. Imani pressed her palm against Shawn’s arm.
“Are we close to the cliff?” The puzzled look on Shawn’s face answered Imani’s question. “Let me guess. We still have a mile left?”
“Um, well, that’s the thing,” Shawn looked around him. “It should be up here somewhere.”
Imani peeked ahead, seeing nothing but trail and trees. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Let me take another look at the map,” Shawn said as he reached into his pocket.
Imani smiled patiently; she could walk a little ways longer. The views were so pretty, and she was enjoying herself. She leaned into Shawn, looking down at the official park map with all the multicolored labelled trails. She wasn’t as good at map reading as Shawn, but she enjoyed looking at it anyways.
“Okay, we are…” Shawn’s pointer finger rolled over Bellow Hollow, sliding up and down the path. “Um, here?” Shawn looked to Imani, who shrugged. “Okay, so if we’re here, we should have passed the entrance to Henry’s Alley, but I didn’t see an opening. Never mind. It doesn’t matter. This is just a small loop anyways.”
Imani agreed. They would get there when they got there.
The pair walked for another hour before finally spotting the gray and tan stone of large rocks. Imani smiled at Shawn, and the pair ran towards the rocks and peered down the small hill at the trees below. It wasn’t a huge valley but beautiful, nevertheless. She couldn’t believe more people didn’t come this way.
They settled down and enjoyed a light lunch of protein bars and dried fruit under the warm October sun.
Imani rested on the back of her pack, gazing up at the sky as a cluster of three birds flew above them, too high up to identify. Shawn rested next to her. She almost forgot that she was supposed to be writing down the birds she saw in her journal. That’s what her friends from class did, and their journals looked cool, but Imani was never good at journaling. She would just have to add the new book to the stack of empty journals she had back at her mom’s house.
A wood thrush flew above her, and Imani jumped up to watch it land on a poplar tree. She watched the beautiful light brown bird ruffle the black spotted feathers on its white chest. Wood thrushes migrated across the Gulf of Mexico in the fall and spring. She was so excited to see one; it was one of her favorite birds.
She watched it slowly as she reached for the zipper on her pack to get her camera. She grabbed it and positioned herself to take a picture right before the wood thrush took off again.
“Did you get it?” Shawn asked as Imani checked.
“I did!” Imani leaned up to show Shawn before returning to nature for a few more photos.
The view was absolutely stunning through the viewfinder. She zoomed in to capture the trees and rolling hills. Down below, she even spotted a doe and two playful young deer hopping around in the break of the trees. Imani chuckled as she snapped a few pictures to capture the joy of their movements as they played around their mom. She moved over to the mother who dipped her head to the ground, rummaging through the leaves for food.
A second pair of deer legs appeared in the frame, and Imani moved to capture the animal only to find that there was a large ghastly open wound where the base of the neck should be. Imani gasped and jerked back. What the heck was that?
“What?” Shawn shuffled over to her.
“There…there’s a headless deer down there.”
“Headless?” Shawn raised an eyebrow.
“I’m serious,” Imani said.
“Okay. There are black bears in the park.”
“No, it wasn’t dead. It was standing up,” Imani caught the look of skepticism in his eyes and ignored it as she reached for her camera. “Here, I have a picture.” Imani flipped through the pictures, but the last one was blurry, and she let out a frustrated sigh.
“What?” Shawn peeked over and looked at the screen.
“It’s blurry, but I know what I saw,” Imani said.
“I’m not doubting you; I mean animals die and get eaten up all the time. Maybe the angle was wrong, and it was lying down.”
“It wasn’t lying down.”
“Okay, okay. Well, I gotta pee. Be right back, okay?” Shawn stood, but Imani was still shaken up. “Hey, it’s going to be okay. Sorry you had to see that. Be right back, okay?”
Shawn pushed himself upright and walked toward the path. As soon as he was out of sight, Imani pulled out her camera and zoomed into the spot where she saw the deer, but there was nothing. She scanned the entire area, but there was nothing but leaves and trees.
She knew what she saw, even though the more she thought about it, it was likely that Shawn was right. The animal probably died and some bear or something was munching on it. She was glad that it wasn’t the victim of hunting, since it wasn’t allowed in national parks, but it was still sad to see a dead animal. Imani slumped as she sat with her legs folded and reached for her bag to put her camera away.
A chill blew through the valley, and Imani rubbed her arms as she watched the orange, yellow, and red leaves blow through the air. It settled her nerves as she shifted from watching the trees to watching the path Shawn took to pee. She could see the trail from where she was sitting. She looked at her watch. It was a little after noon, but she was barely tired and eager to get back on the trail.
Imani reached for Shawn’s pack, to get some trail mix when she thought she saw a child run down the path. She looked to her left to see where they were heading then leaned back. It looked like a little boy; his family must not be far. Imani fingered the zipper on Shawn’s pack but froze when she heard a child scream.
It startled her to her feet, but no one from up the path came running by. Was it the child? Did he trip? Was he lost? Imani groaned. She looked to the right, up the path, to see if Shawn was coming back, but there was no one. Imani sighed. The scream sounded close, so the kid was probably just around the corner. It couldn’t hurt to take a quick look.
Imani left her bag and traveled down the path toward the scream.
Dead branches and leaves crunched under Shawn’s feet as he made his way back to the rock. He was just about to say something when he came upon an empty spot. He saw Imani’s bag, but she wasn’t there.
“Imani?” he called for her.
When he didn’t hear back, he pushed down his panic and figured she must have run off to use a tree as well. It wasn’t a big deal; they had been hiking all morning with little potty breaks, and this was the first time all day they’d stopped and settled down. Shawn picked up his pack and started to put his things away. He spotted Imani’s camera and picked it up and slipped it back into her camera case. By the time he was done, she hadn’t come back yet.
He checked his phone. There was no service, of course, but it wasn’t even one yet, and he knew from experience that chicks took longer to pee. So, he decided to settle down instead. He gazed out at the small canyon covered in beautiful red maple and yellow birch trees when he heard voices coming from up the trail. He turned and expected to see a family, but they hadn’t passed yet.
He settled back in, but the voices grew louder. He couldn’t hear the conversation, but the tone sounded harsh. As the voices drew closer, the distinct sound of an older man shouting became clearer. He still couldn’t make out the conversation, and he didn’t care, but it was killing his vibe.
“Are you just going to sit on your ass all day?” a voice growled behind him.
Shawn jerked around, but there was no one there. Shawn’s heart raced, and his arms itched. Who the fuck was that and why did it sound so much like his father?
Shawn’s eyes darted around. He needed to calm down. He wasn’t even sure why he was so worked up, but Imani wasn’t back yet, so he thought it was probably a good idea to go look for her.
He checked his watch again; it was barely nine minutes, and she was probably on her way back anyway. Shawn walked toward the path to his left to see if Imani went that way.
“I said, are you going to sit on your ass all day?” an angry voice growled.
Shawn jerked around and stumbled back at the appearance of his dad in full hunting gear, holding his old bow. Tremors rippled through his body and paralyzed his tongue. Why was his dad here? Had he followed him there? Had he seen his mother’s car and wanted to meet Imani? He was always trying to get closer to Shawn, always trying to pry his way back into his life, no matter how far Shawn ran.
The anger in his father’s eyes did not ease. It followed him like a bad cough, suffocating him until his legs threatened to give out. Shawn slowly clenched his fist. He wasn’t that weak little child anymore. He turned away.
“What are you doing here, Dad?” Shawn forced out. But there was no answer, and when he looked back, no one was there.
Shawn spun around. Where was he? Was his dad seriously fucking with him on his vacation with his girlfriend? What the fuck? Anger filled Shawn’s heart. Whatever this was, it wasn’t funny.
Shawn headed up the path, walking at first, then jogging. He wasn’t going to let his stupid family ruin this trip. He rounded a bend and stopped dead in his tracks when a voice said, “Running away.”
Was that… It couldn’t be.
Shawn turned around and shock plastered his face. His older brother Calvin stood behind him with an expression of hurt and anger on his face. What the absolute fuck was he doing here? Shawn started to say something when he noticed his brother’s bruised hands. It made Shawn’s skin itch all up his arms and his shoulders, and his head started to hurt.
Calvin tilted his head. “You think you’re better than me because you got a new side piece,” Calvin said as he closed his fist. “Do I have to remind you again how worthless you are?”
“Wh-what?” Shawn had started inching back before he realized it.
Calvin snapped his head up straight again. His eyes were hot with rage. Then he took off right towards Shawn, and Shawn booked it up the path.
Imani walked down the path but didn’t see the young boy, his family, or anyone else. Someone must have caught him and soothed him, so she gave up and started up the trail again.
She was sure Shawn was looking for her, but her watch told her only ten minutes had gone by since she left on this little adventure, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. She started up the path as a breeze blew through trees, making her shiver. She would have to pull out her jacket when she got back.
When she heard a rustle in the bushes next to her, she turned her head and saw a blur of red and blue run into the forest. Who was that? Was that the kid again? But a child’s scream cut off that thought.
“Good, grief,” Imani said as she dashed into the trees after them.
She hoped the kid was okay, but really, she wondered where his parents were. Who was letting their kid run around the woods like this?
She stepped over dead leaves and vines until she reached the spot where the scream should have come from. He was just here; he couldn’t’ve gotten far. She scanned the ground and shuffled around a dead bush when her foot hit something hard. She bent down and brushed the leaves away, revealing a tiny, dingy white sneaker.
“What the…” She reached down and picked up the sneaker. She peered behind the bush, assuming the child didn’t get far with one shoe, and came upon the open but dead eyes of her six-year-old brother, his mouth hung open on his sunken, decaying face.
Imani screamed and ran towards the trail as her stomach churned. She stumbled forward, but the smell followed her like a swarm of flies, and she vomited near a cluster of trees. She heaved as she tried to push the images that flooded in from that day from her mind.
“What the…what the fuck? What the actual fuck.” She looked back, only seeing miles of dense, fall-colored forest. She balled her hands into fists. Someone’s child… Imani shook her head. She couldn’t even focus on that right now. She needed to find Shawn. She needed to get help.
She kicked herself up from the ground and scanned the area for the trail, but she couldn’t make heads or tails of where to go. She didn’t travel that far into the forest. The trail had to be close. Her stomach still lurched at the olfactory memory, but it was nearly empty, which she was thankful for.
“Shawn?” She shouted as she stumbled over a patch of thick, dead vines and nearly hit the ground. “Shit. Shawn!”
No answer.
Imani groaned. She looked at her Smartwatch, but there was no signal. She cursed again when that smell of death wafted through the air again. It was getting stronger, and she hoped to God that there weren’t any more dead bodies out here.
She walked through leaves dotted with white and tan mushrooms. There were so many of them sprouting from the ground; some were even growing on the trees. Imani moved away from the trees, holding her arms close to her body. She slowed to look at some with dark brown caps on thick white stalks. Some were a deep mahogany and looked more red than brown. It was gross how they turned to mush under her feet. Combined with the smell she felt like she was going to hurl again.
“Shawn!” Imani called again as she wiped her teary eyes.
The trail had to be close. Imani walked past a large ash tree and came upon a headless deer in a bed of rotting mushrooms. Imani jumped back at the site of the puffy, decaying wound that sat where the deer’s neck should have been. It turned what was left of its neck towards Imani.
“Why are you here?” echoed around her, and she took off running.
No thoughts, no logic could grab hold of her as she ran. She couldn’t even scream as her heart pumped blood rapidly through her body. She ran, stumbling through bushes and vines, shoving herself over dead trees, anything to get away from the sight she just saw. This was a nightmare, but the pain in her legs and feet felt real. Imani cried as she clawed her way up hills and splashed through streams.
A fog followed behind her that she could not outrun, and fear tightened its grip around her heart. Her mind immediately took her back to her ex-boyfriend’s dad’s words. Maybe we ought to take her out hunting and see how fast she runs. Imani choked on a cry as she pushed her body to run faster, but she stumbled on a ditch and landed chest-first on the gravel. Man, I’d kill to see that, the memory echoed.
“No, no, no.” The fear seized her body, and she curled up into a ball. She shook, but the sound of shoes scuffing against gravel pulled her out of it. She jerked her head up and saw a White couple, the woman clinging tightly to a man who stared down at her. “D-deer, deer, th-there.” Imani frantically pointed.
The man stepped closer to her, but the woman pulled him back. “She’s high. We should call a ranger.”
“I…no. Deer… It doesn’t have a head. You have to believe me!” Imani said.
The man looked away, reaching for something in his pocket. “Ah? A deer, um…”
“Call someone,” the woman whispered. Her eyes looked down at Imani as if she were some kind of diseased animal.
“Okay, okay,” the man said.
“No,” Imani said again, but the smell of decay had found her and was suffocating her, making her head throb. Didn’t they smell that? She couldn’t be the only one. Images of her dead brother and flashing blue lights poured into her mind.
Ungrateful, a voice spat at her.
A voice she would never forget because it was the voice of the cop who ran over her six-year-old brother.
Shawn’s chest burned as he walked down an unkept dirt path. He didn’t know when he got off the trail, and he didn’t care. His legs ached and his hands trembled as he struggled to come to terms with what was happening to him. Why were his father and brother here? What did they want?
A peg of guilt stabbed his heart when he thought of Imani. She must be worried sick. He needed to get back to her, but he was hopelessly lost. The light scent of alcohol and blood hung in the air, setting off alarm bells in his mind that made the hair on his arms stand up. He sniffed hard, hoping to flush out the smell and replace it with nature, but the smell of liquor was getting too strong.
Defeated, Shawn continued to walk, trying to remember all the Boy Scout lessons he’d learned. He cleared a small leafy hill and came upon a stream. He was thirsty but he knew better and decided to wash the sweat off his face instead. He knelt and dipped both palms into the water, splashing his face before wiping it dry with his shirt. He thought that would do something about the smell, but it was still strong, so strong that it was making his entire upper body itch.
He splashed his face again when a faint blue light caught his eye. He turned and standing in the stream was the ghostly blue figure of a white-tail deer with two pairs of ears and four pairs of jet-black eyes. A fog-like soft blue aura floated from it as if it were some ethereal creature.
“Why are you hurt, human?”
It spoke. It actually spoke, but its mouth did not move. Was this real? It couldn’t be. He must have hit his head or something, but no matter how many times he blinked, the creature remained. Only the sounds of his breath kept him grounded as he struggled to pull his gaze away. It was so beautiful, hauntingly so, but it also made him feel somewhat sad the more he stared into its jet-black eyes.
“Why are you hurt, human?” it said again, but this time, Shawn felt someone grab his arm before he could consider the question.
“Shoot it!” His father stood next to him, shaking him, squeezing his arm too tight.
Shawn gasped and yanked his arm away, stumbling up the stream.
“Coward!”
Shawn didn’t look back as the sounds of heavy boots splashed through water behind him. His clothes filled with water, down to his shoes, as he struggled to get up. He ran towards the slippery banks, too wet to climb, and tumbled down and caught a glimpse of his father. He was raging mad, his body tense with an anger Shawn knew would come pummeling down on him. He couldn’t take this; he couldn’t let his father catch him. So, Shawn jumped to his feet and ran again.
Trees whizzed by, but his father was never out of sight. Panic sent his heart racing as his feet pounded the ground. He pushed through bushes, ripped through dead vines, and tripped up a hill only to come tumbling down a muddy bank. The sounds of boots sloshing through the mud echoed around him. This was it. Shawn gasped for breath as he crawled toward the dark waters of a vast lake. His father was going to catch him. He trembled and was about to close his eyes when he saw a pale light on the dark waters. He stared at the rippled reflection of the ghostly pale deer.
“Why are you here, human?”
Tears wet Shawn’s face and dripped into the murky waters below as he choked, “Im-Imani. I have to…I have to find…”
“No, why are you here?”
Shawn blinked through teary eyes and looked up. “I-I’m here on a ca-camping trip.”
All eight of its eyes looked down at him, hungry empty voids. He felt like he would get swallowed up, and he could barely speak.
“I know why you are here,” it said, but Shawn only furrowed his brow. “You are here to suffer.” The creature walked closer to him, creating gentle waves that rippled towards him.
“Ah…I don’t understand.”
“Look for yourself.” The creature nodded towards the water.
Shawn shook his head at first, not sure if he heard it correctly, then let his eyes drop to the water. His eyes were blackened and bruised, his lips bloody, busted, and red. Dried blood stained his nose. He brought his shaky hands to his face. The skin was tender, the pain sharp and very real. Tears poured from his eyes and ran over the puffy bruises.
“You are only here to suffer, human.” The voice sounded sad. “There is no escaping that.”
Shawn cried loudly now, coughing and spitting out the blood he tasted in his mouth. When was this suffering going to end? When would he ever be free from this nightmare?
His reflection rippled in the water as the ghostly figure came closer to him. It stopped just inches away and lowered its head to rest it on Shawn’s shoulders.
“But it doesn’t have to be this way.”
His bruised reflection disappeared, and the image of Imani took its place.
“Im-Imani!” Shawn reached out a shaky hand to touch the water.
“You could be with her forever,” it said.
Shawn’s fingers touched the water, but the image did not melt away. He dipped his fingers deeper. The water felt so warm. “For-forever?”
The deer nuzzled his wet cheek. “Forever.”
Shawn cracked a teary smile as he gazed into his girlfriend’s eyes. Dense fog wrapped around him as he dipped his hands deeper into the warm, refreshing water.
“Forever,” Shawn uttered.
Imani panted as she sat with her back resting on a tree. She shut her eyes but only for a moment while she struggled to control her breathing. It was clear someone or something was fucking with her. Maybe something she ate or a bug bite because this was so unreal.
She leaned forward slowly and scanned the area for anything weird. She needed to get to safety, but she also needed to find Shawn. Imani wanted to cry as she thought about him. He must think she was crazy for running off like this on their first big trip. After all the planning and money they put into it.
Imani took a deep breath; she couldn’t afford to panic. She knew the front of the park was south of her last location, but looking around, who knew where her last location was?
One moment she was on the trail talking to some hikers, but they didn’t seem eager to help and dismissed her with fake caring ass promises that a park ranger would be there soon. However, Imani waited around, and no one came, and when she got up and started walking in the direction the hikers went, the path fizzled out into a dead end.
Imani buried her head in her arms. She needed to orient herself, but she couldn’t remember any of the wildlife tips she had learned over the summer. Think Imani, think. What color was Bellow Hollow on the map? Green? Red?
“Fuck,” Imani cursed.
Then it came to her. Most of the beginner trails were mile marked, with zero always starting from the front of the park. If she could find two trail markers of the same color and follow the lowest number and follow it south. Then she could find a park ranger, find Shawn, and get the heck out of here. Imani stood and brushed the leaves and sticks from her butt. The trail wasn’t far behind her. She headed down the crunchy path looking for marked trees or posts. There had to be plenty; they’d picked a well-traveled trail for leaf watching, so there must be markers everywhere.
Her pace quickened as she scanned trees for trailblazers or flags, but there was nothing. No markings at all. How could that be possible? Her mind raced as her brisk walk turned into a jog. Come on, come on! Imani looked at every tree trunk when she encountered an intersection and gasped when she saw a wooden post.
“Cheers Trail five-point-five and Stone Hollow nine-point-five,” Imani furrowed her brow.
How did she get all the way out here? If she recalled correctly, Stone Hollow was almost in the middle of the park. That didn’t matter. Imani reined in her breathing. She found one post, and the next one should help her find her way.
Imani ran this time. It didn’t matter the direction as long as she stayed on the trail. She found another wooden post, this time with only the Stone Hollow trail on it, but the miles read nine. She was heading south. Joy washed over her like a summer rain. Now all she needed to do was follow it to the front of the park. Then she thought of Shawn. Please don’t be mad at me. She chewed the inside of her lip before forcing herself to continue.
This entire weekend had gone to shit, and it was all her fault for running off. Even though she couldn’t explain the visual hallucinations. As Imani walked, she started to notice something odd about the park. Where were all the people? The parking lots were full when they arrived, but there wasn’t so much as a single hiker on these trails. In fact, she hadn’t seen anyone since those two unhelpful hikers. She also hadn’t come upon any campgrounds, and the entrance they took had at least five. So, she should have come upon one by now. Imani looked around. Her feet hurt as they pounded the ground, but she had to keep going.
She followed the path until it shifted to asphalt. She slowed and looked behind her. She was on the Stone Hollow trail, but this didn’t look like the same trail. Had she made a wrong turn somewhere? Or maybe this is a service road. It wouldn’t be odd. Maybe she’d just slipped off the trail by accident.
“Okay, Imani. If there is asphalt, then there are cars, and where there are cars, there are buildings.”
Imani steeled her nerves. Buildings meant people and telephones. Help would be close by. Imani took a painful step forward, trying to focus on falling into Shawn’s arms. The silly expression on his face when she told him about everything she saw. She missed him so much, and she was so scared. If this was how camping was, she would be totally fine with swearing off it for good.
The asphalt road widened as Imani walked around a gentle bend. She came upon a white SUV with its hazards on and froze. A park ranger. She jogged closer to it and saw the word Police in light silver and slowed. She couldn’t afford to be picky and so she sucked in a shaky breath. The fog of the day caught up with her as she approached, but she ignored it. There was someone in that SUV, someone with a radio that could help and she would be damned if a little fog scared her away.
She reached the back of the vehicle and noticed something small and white on the ground in front of it. She inched closer and noticed that it was a shoe. A small, dingy white shoe. The image sent shivers down her spine.
She placed her hand on the SUV. It was real. She felt its cold metal frame. But the shoe…
Her lip quivered as she took slow, cautious steps forward. Her eyes were glued on the sole of the shoe that was attached to a small jean-covered leg. Pain gripped Imani’s heart, but she couldn’t stop herself from looking. She peeked further and saw the hem of a dirty red t-shirt and images of her dead brother flooded in like stormwater. She screamed and ran backward, directly into a solid object.
“Hey!”
Imani gasped for air as she focused on the confused and agitated man before her. His shirt read Deerhead Volunteer. She looked back only to find that the white SUV wasn’t an SUV at all, but instead, a beat-up white pickup truck marked Park Service.
“What are you doing out here?”
The man’s agitation reminded Imani of what had happened last time she ran into help. She needed to act more palatable if she wanted him to help her. So, she swallowed all her fear and frustration and tied it up with a smile.
“I-I’m sorry. I-I’m lost,” Imani mustered.
“Okay.” The man brushed his fingers through his short brown hair. “My name’s Ry Hamilton. Are you here alone? Or did you come with a group?”
“I-I’m here with my boyfriend Shawn Fields. We were hiking the Bellow Hollow trail, and we went on this loop to some other trails—I forget which ones. But I heard this boy scream and went to check it out and got lost and—”
“Woah, calm down. You’re safe now,” Ry said. “We’re not that far from the south entrance. Did you need first aid? I know a lot of you teens like the smoke pot; it’ll wear off in a few hours if you did.”
“Smoke?” Imani’s face twisted in disgust, but any pushback only made him look more annoyed like he couldn’t be bothered to help her. So, she bit her tongue. “I’m sorry, did you say the south entrance? I just came off the Stone Hollow trail.”
Ry raised an eyebrow. “Stone Hollow? We’re near Clack’s Creek.” He pointed to the trail marker a few feet in front of him.
Imani turned and looked. Had she really come that far? She thought she had at least eight more miles left.
“It’s okay. I’ll call a ranger. Stay here.” Ry pulled out his satellite phone.
Imani watched Ry speak over the phone as she rubbed her arms. She was so lost and frazzled she could barely recall any information on the map she and Shawn had poured over for hours. She just wanted to find her boyfriend and go home.
“Yeah,” Ry said. “Have first aid on standby. I don’t think it’s serious; you know how teens get around this time. Um, hold on. Ma’am, what’s your name?”
Imani turned around. “Imani Lincoln.”
“Imani Lincoln, and she said she was with her boyfriend, um, Shawn Fields. Hold on. Where did you say you saw him last?”
“On the Bellow Hollow trail. We hadn’t gone that far—maybe three or five miles.”
Ry nodded. “And what’s he look like?”
“He’s nineteen, five-eleven, White, with brown hair, wearing brown khaki pants and a green shirt.”
“Thanks,” Ry turned from her and repeated what she said to the dispatcher. “Thank you.” He ended the call. “Okay, I’m going to take you to the south gate and get you checked out, and then we’ll send a party out for your boyfriend.”
Imani took a deep breath. “Thank you.”
Ry nodded again and walked towards the front seat as Imani walked around back to the passenger side. She climbed in, and Ry pursed a thin smile at her before starting up the truck. Imani reached over, buckled her seat belt, and looked out the window. The fog that had rolled in settled on the bare forest floor. She watched the trees go by in silence as Ry hummed to some country song. She hoped Shawn was okay and that he wasn’t worrying too much. She couldn’t wait to run into his arms. She needed him to hold her and tell her that this nightmare was over.
The trees thinned out to patches of dead grass-filled meadows. Blurs of birds took flight as they drove by. Imani spotted a gray rabbit that dashed into the fog when they went by. In the grassy meadows, she saw deer. Her eyes fixed on them. There were only three and they were all normal. They grazed as they passed the opening. The next opening had deer as well, but this time only two. One looked like a fawn. Imani smiled, but only a little.
She closed her eyes. The adrenaline that had kept her going was starting to wear off, but she couldn’t sleep here. Not in a car with a complete stranger, volunteer or not.
She glanced at Ry. His eyes were focused on the road, so she turned and stared back out the window. They came upon another opening. This time, they cruised next to a small stream that branched out as they drove past it. One of the stream’s segments broke off into the woods. Imani followed it out into the meadow where there were more deer. About five this time. They all turned and looked at the truck when it passed, and a sixth deer appeared from behind two of the large does. The shape of its body was unmistakable. Imani screamed.
“Shit!” Ry slammed on the brakes, sending Imani into the dashboard. “Fuck, sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“It-it’s okay. That was my fault.” Imani trembled.
Ry looked as if he were holding back a scowl. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault. That’s just how the culture is today. YOLO, right?”
Imani forced a smile, but she couldn’t stop her heart from racing. Drugs be damned, this wasn’t that.
“I’m just not a very good babysitter. I mean…never mind,” Ry said.
Imani forced herself to look out the window again. She wished she could punch him. She wasn’t on drugs.
“But you know, you could act a little more grateful.”
Imani snapped around only to find her father sitting next to her as an angry cop looked at them both through the driver’s window.
“I can’t believe I’m wasting my time apologizing to you. Not like your fucking kid would have lived past fifteen anyways in these streets.”
Imani tensed. A buzzing in her ears intensified as she watched her father clench the steering wheel of their childhood car. The angry cop flexed his hands as blue and red lights flashed around them. Her mother’s screams echoed through her mind as images of the accident came into focus. Jewel’s lifeless body squashed under an SUV. Neighbors with blank faces, pointing and staring as nine-year-old Imani stood in the street on her bicycle, looking at the blood that painted the asphalt.
Jewel’s eyes snapped open and looked at her. Why are you here?
Imani jumped, but her seatbelt restrained her. She fought it until she came to the realization that she was back in Ry’s truck. She looked around. Ry was outside talking to a ranger, and both of them were staring at her. When they met her eyes, they turned around and continued their conversation. Imani started to cry but quickly wiped her eyes. She wasn’t on drugs. Something was wrong. Something was seriously wrong.
She unbuckled her seatbelt. Ry had gotten her help, but she needed air. She wondered what Shawn would think of her after hearing her story. Would he even believe her? She wasn’t even sure she believed what she was seeing.
Imani took a deep breath and gagged on the smell of rotten flesh. She covered her nose. Where was that coming from? She looked around and saw Ry and the ranger talking as if it were nothing. Then she saw what looked like Shawn’s pant leg and ran for the bushes only to find nothing.
“Fuck!” Imani yelled at the ground that suddenly had two shadows on it. Imani’s eyes widened at the headless deer shape. She turned around and found nothing, only to turn back to the forest and see the rotting headless deer standing before her.
“Why are you here?” it asked.
Imani screamed and ran, not caring about the ranger or anyone. She just wanted out. She ran away from the truck, and a large black bird dove in her path, causing her to fall off the path into the woods, where she rolled down a hill. She hit her ribs on the way down and landed in a puddle of shallow mud. Imani groaned as she leaned up only to see two dirt-covered white shoes.
“Why are you here?” her dead six-year-old brother asked her.
“Leave me alone!” Imani screamed as she kicked up the mud, trying to scramble away. She heard the voices of Ry and the park ranger behind her, but she wasn’t going to stop for anything.
Imani sprinted through the forest, the fog once again on her trail. Why was this happening to her? What did she do? Was the universe mad that she had made her little brother play with her that day? Was it punishing her for his death?
Imani tripped over dead bramble, cutting up her arms and legs. She kicked off the ground as tears wet her face and gasped when she slipped on the mud hidden beneath the leaves.
She cried out and cursed, begging the universe to stop. What had she done to deserve this? She cried freely as her hands and body sunk in the mud, wetting through all her layers. Sticks cracked around her and she looked up and saw four hoofs. The headless deer was back, with dark brown and red mushrooms growing from its gaping wound.
“Why are you here?”
“L-leave me alone.” Imani completely broke down as lumps of mud rose from the ground. She blinked and was suddenly surrounded by dozens of dead Black bodies. Imani jumped up as her eyes hopped from bloated face to bloated face. So many dead eyes and open mouths peeked above the mud.
“Why are you here?”
“Pl-please,” Imani cried. “Please, m-make it stop.”
A hand reached out from the muddy water and touched her thigh. Imani kicked it away, as the naked hand stretched out further to reveal a body. A White body that was covered in mud. The wet dirt dripped away, and the body turned its head and focused its dead eyes on her. It was Shawn. With lightning speed, he reached out and grabbed her thigh again.
“You were not put here to suffer,” Shawn said.
Imani kicked out of his grip and stumbled through the mud, up the bramble-covered banks, and toward deeper water, away from this horror. She stumbled and fell deeper into the mud but clawed her way back up, soaking her clothes even further. She looked back at her boyfriend, who never took his eyes off her, and then she looked forward only to see the headless deer on the bank.
“Have you not suffered enough?”
Imani slipped backward to get away.
“Where does your suffering end? Why are you here?”
“I don’t know!” Imani shouted and sobbed as the headless deer looked down at her.
“I know why you are here,” it finally said. “You are here to suffer.”
“I’m…no,” Imani cried.
“Yes. I see now. You are here to be fertilizer to a civilization,” it said. “You know it. They know it.”
Imani shook her head as dozens of Black bodies appeared around her. So many Black people, their heads hung low. Some dressed as carpenters, some as maids, some as field workers and cooks. Imani’s head swiveled around to see hundreds crowding the banks in worn clothes with dirty tired faces.
“N-no.” Imani shook as she cried, then her eyes stopped on a woman who looked just like her, wearing the outfit she used to babysit wealthy families’ kids in. Her face was blank and lifeless.
“That’s a shame,” the deer said. “You are worth so much more.”
Imani cried. How much torment had she tucked away? The torment that happened to her long before she took this trip. The torment that happened before she even knew what to call it. Was this really all the universe had in store for her?
“I can change your fate,” it said. “I can compost you into something greater.”
Imani sobbed. She didn’t want to hear any more of this. “Sh-Shawn,” she wept.
“Your lover? He has already joined us.”
Imani jerked her head up.
“Come,” it said. “Allow me to show you a better fate.” The headless deer turned and walked deeper into the water.
“W-wait!” Imani stumbled after it. “No, don’t leave!”
The headless deer paused as Imani sloshed through the warm waist deep water. She reached out and touched the deer, just to see if it was real, and to her surprise, its body was warm. It pulsated with life. She rubbed its hind, slick with water but very much alive. Mushrooms started to grow on her hands, and she jerked them away. She waited for the pain, but it didn’t come. Instead, as the mushrooms grew, the pain in her feet and the torn skin from the brambles faded away.
Mushrooms appeared on the headless deer’s body too, so beautiful with their soft pastel colors. She reached out and touched them. They were so soft as they started to grow up her hand and up her arm, too. Her fingers were fusing with the deer’s body, in such beautiful colors, and there was no pain. Imani leaned into the animal, as if it were her bed. Mushrooms sprouted all over her as she decomposed into the body of the headless deer, that sunk deeper into the dark waters below.
“I can change your fate,” was the last thing she heard before she disappeared below the surface.
Sunlight pierced the water Imani floated in. There was no pain, only the sensation of warmth all over her body. She floated to the top of the dark water and washed ashore where she lay on the bank under the red sun. Fog hugged the ground, and Imani dug her hands into the damp earth. There was a sort of pulse beneath her skin. A power she had never felt before.
She stretched her arms out wide and felt the insects under the sand and the dormant roots of the wetland plants. She lifted her hand to the sky. It was so pale, but on her fingernail, a tiny pastel blue mushroom grew. She flexed her finger, and it grew larger and darker until it was the color of the midnight sky. She had never felt this energized before.
Imani heard footsteps. A shadow eclipsed the sun and reached a hand towards her. “Shawn?”
Shawn’s pale hand caressed Imani’s cheek. He helped her up and gazed upon her with such a calm gentleness. Imani reached out to her lover.
“Go,” a voice said to them. Imani and Shawn looked toward the lake. “You have a lot of work to do.”
Work. That’s right. Imani faintly remembered. There was so much pain and suffering in the world. So much unfairness.
Shawn helped her to her feet and took her hand in his. He pulled her close as she gazed into his pale gray eyes.
“The forest needs to heal.” Shawn pulled her hand close to his lips and kissed it.
Heal. Imani nodded. There was so much pain and suffering in the world, and the only way to fix it was to heal.
Hand in hand, Imani and Shawn walked through the forest. Roots swam in the ground beside them as trees and bushes parted in their wake. The sound of laughter echoed around them, and Shawn tensed.
“Too loud,” Shawn muttered.
Imani squeezed his hand. She would help fix this. After all, what was she to them but less than nothing? They were the plague of the Earth and needed to be purged from this land. Imani and Shawn came upon a campsite with four campers whose expressions quickly turned to dread at the sight of a completely nude Imani and Shawn.
Two of the men screamed, and Shawn raced forward and punched a hole through the man’s face, coating the ground with warm red blood. Imani hummed. The warm liquid felt good on the cold earth. Shawn crushed the skull of the other camper as Imani turned her roots onto the two women. She impaled one through the chest and the other through the leg. The woman with the root in her chest choked out her last words before giving her life blood to the forest, leaving her friend a screaming mess.
Shawn winced as he crooked his head towards the noise, but a presence drew closer to Imani before she could finish her work. Imani stepped aside as a giant stag with a thick dark brown coat and branches for antlers appeared. Shawn stepped back and took the left side, next to the beast whose mouth looked as if it had contorted into a smile. The woman struggled to dislodge the root from her bleeding leg as she cried.
“Such an innocent child,” the stag said.
“P-please,” the woman cried out. “W-why are you doing this?”
“Why? Why do you new ones cut down trees? Slaughter animals? Is it not because you can?” The words dripped from the stag’s mouth with playful amusement.
“W-what? No,” the woman cried out.
Imani raised her hand and summoned snake-like roots that encircled the woman’s body. The woman screamed and swatted at the air, and Imani closed her hand. The roots crushed the woman’s body like some fruit. So much lifeblood dripped onto the thirsty ground. Imani hummed. It was quiet now.
The stag laughed. “The original people were much more clever with their little tricks and seals, but the ones who inherited this land through violence were greedy and did not see the danger that lurked around them.” The stag’s playful tone disappeared. “Cleanse these forest, my servants. Make your packs with Ayndis and Gilatoyee worth your keep.”
“Yes, great one,” Imani and Shawn said in unison.
Trandul stood before the dark waters of his lake with Ayndis’ eternal corpse to his left and Gilatoyee’s mystic form to his right. A dense fog rolled over the land, and from the lake, thick black roots twisted and curled through the forest. Screams echoed in waves, rising and eddying as the roots swept through the land. Trandul’s eyes glowed as he listened to the birth of his new world, his new children doing his work.
As fog encased the mountains, he said, “Finally, my time has come.”
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